A New Lease On Life

Why buy when you can rent?

I’ve been looking for a job for 15 months. Fifteen. Months.

At some point, you start to wonder: maybe it’s not the résumé. Maybe it’s the person attached to it.

Which brings me to a bold new idea:
Identity leasing.

Think of it like a corporate test drive. You borrow someone else’s identity, take it for a spin on the job market, and if you like the results? You buy it. Clean transfer. One owner. Low miles. Possibly even verified by a third-party service that doesn’t yet exist but really should.

I know what you’re thinking. That sounds…illegal.
And you’re absolutely right.
It is.
That’s how I know it works.

North Korean IT teams are doing it. Job scammers across three continents are doing it. There’s an entire underground industry built on the idea that someone else’s identity might perform better than yours.

And weirdly? They’re right.

Because it turns out that in the digital hiring world, who you are matters far less than what your metadata says. It’s not your skill. It’s your “signals.” The LinkedIn location. The graduation year. The fact that you haven’t been unemployed for fifteen. consecutive. months.

So maybe I need a new story. A new face. A better-sounding gap.
Maybe I don’t need a résumé rewrite — I need a reboot.

Maybe I need to revert to the original factory settings.

If nothing else, it’s good to know there’s a growing market for leasing identities. I might even list mine.

Just don’t ding the credit. I’m going to need it back eventually.